Writers Jam

New beginnings.
what do they mean?
What do I dream of?
I dread everyday I'm not dead, Merely every night a nightmare, Every breath I take,
Every sound I make.
Is a surprise to me,
It's a gift I didn't ask for,
a gift I can't return.
I cannot wait for the days to be over,
And the nights introduce me to new lows.
"What a life", "here to leave a mark",
Emptiness has consumed me and all I see is dark,
Why would you want to help me? You really don't have to lie,
You won't be surprised if I die,
so what difference does it make?
Take away my pain and let me go,
Or teach me, show me,
what it means to have hope