I have a little shameful fantasy. When things get too hard or I inevitably end up with my foot in my mouth in some situation or the other, I think about running away from it all, changing my name, shaving my head, moving to a different country, never seeing the people in my life again.
Is this all there is to life? You work hard to make a little money, you spend it on things to make life a little more bearable in the moment, you regret spending it, you go back to working to make more.
Happiness has become pay-to-win. Think of the last time you did something that was free and made you happy. One can't even hang out with their friends without spending a little money.
Where did it all go this wrong? Was this all we were meant for?
Even gazing up at the night sky, long humanity's favourite pastime, has become paywalled. As a child, I thought that the Milky Way was only visible from one side of the planet, the western one, because I had simply never seen it with my eyes, only read about it in textbooks. It turns out that four-fifths of the world's population cannot see it anymore due to human light pollution. To see the stars you must travel far away from centers of human activity. Travel costs money. We have not even left the stars unravaged.
Death isn't even free anymore. You have to buy the six feet to hang yourself with.
My little fantasy of running away brings me comfort until I remember that changing your name and moving to another country costs money, too.
Beginnings are a myth; the only life we have is this. I hope the things we did to get here have been worth it.
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