Writers Jam

I blow through friends like hot desert winds
Gotta stay light to avoid my sins
Went through contacts of school mates I never got back to
Although it's too late, I want to say thank you

I'm grateful you never treated me like a buzzkill
It was you and your boyfriend, but I never felt like a third wheel
I'd get you ice cream sandwiches, you'd give me your rajma chawal
If it wasn't for your support, I'd have probably thrown in the towel

Holding hands and taking in the afternoon sun
The toxic man in me melted at the proposition
Of affections being passed through simple actions
No grandiose gestures, no desperate measures of drama

But I blow through friends like a motorboat down the stream
Gotta stay light, avoid my dreams of the past
Went through old photo albums that I had backed up
Know it's too late, but I still want to thank you

Came over to your house, watched you play video games
Danced with your dog, discussed our future plans
Loved the joy we felt looking up your buff manga characters
But when it came to your other friends, your disposition changed.

They didn't get what I did, the pressure you faced
The countless psych appointments, like your diagnosis was a disgrace
I don't even remember what I cut ties with you over,
Probably something stupid, but now you're lost within the aether.

Then again, I blow through friends like a cup of hot coffee
Gotta keep light, what with depression weighing on me
College days, I would've gone insane without you
Anyways, it's too late, but I want to say thank you

Took the lift to your apartment on the tallest floor
For once, I didn't feel like hiding, I wanted to explore
Balcony conversations until its sunset, sharing all our miseries
Finally mustered up the courage to show you my poetry

That's intimacy for me,
I let fear creep in too often
That you'd all leave,
If my inner world came out in the open
So I behave like a cat: cold, apprehensive and aloof
But the truth is, I'd wrap my body tight round your words that soothe

Keep saying it's too late but maybe I need to learn from my mistakes
I want to keep you close, want to ask you "how was your day?"
My heart gets heavy in the absence of those that I've left
So this time, I'll stop moving, offer you my hand

Can we please try again?