Writers Jam

I can't kill myself
Because I can't get out of bed,
I can't kill myself
Though that's what the voice in the walls said.
I'd rather doomscroll on the feed and postpone my meals,
I can't kill myself
But I can make myself feel weak.

I can't kill myself
Because I don't got anyone
To talk about how I feel,
The ones that I do got, I can't seem to stop ghosting them.
I can't look you in the eye and dump all my burdens on you.
That's something you don't deserve, so don't let it concern you.

I can't kill myself
To stop you from giving me pity,
I'm full of shit and I can never fill the pit in my stomach.
So I can't kill myself
Even though I keep telling you I'm killing myself,
I can't take my own life so I'd rather bury myself alive.

I can't kill myself
Because no matter how much I try, every word I write can't be perfect.
I can't get better because I can't bear to be judged.
Fragile ego cutting me deep when I know I can't compete with you all.
If I can't be the best, then why should I even bother?

I can't kill myself
Even though I don't have a real job,
Fuck 5 years, I can't see where I should even be tomorrow.
Probably sitting in my room and drowning in my own sorrows,
The world would move on and no one would bother even knocking.

I can't kill myself
Even though I'm stuck on a path someone else drew,
Working for someone else,
Marrying someone else,
And end up dying someone else,
If I killed myself now at least I would really be killing my self.

I can't kill myself,
Can't do it because I'd end up proving I'm replaceable,
People who'd mourn me would only mourn who I've shown myself to be.
If I'm everyone else's version of myself, which self am I even killing?

Can't even kill myself
And get peace on my own terms,
After burning out my mind,
They'd take my body one last time and finally burn it to ashes.
They kept forcing me to fit into their mold,
Now look what happened.