Phases of the moon
Wolf moon
A blank wall with no paint stares back at me.
Faded cement, colourless, cold.
The wolf moon makes my breath get anchored in misery.
Patterns, thoughts, feelings.
I ignore this feeling.
Patches of cement crumbling,
I walk barefoot on these patches,
My saphenous nerve is tickled.
I recognise the sensations but feel defeated to act upon them.
My Vishuddha screams for balance.
Silence, haunting silence and then nothing at all.
I breathe from my mouth and continue staring at the wall.
Snow moon
The wall is now a red bricked one.
Durable, classic, boring.
My intuition calls in for a transformation.
Alchemy, rebirth, shedding.
Karmic debt asking to be repaid.
Avoidant men, friends and circles.
Am I lazy or a coward?
Maybe both.
Fear, doubt, safety.
I ask for a grace period, for I haven’t aligned myself to my vessel yet.
It’s granted for a barter of discomfort.
So, I start meeting people, speak up in relationships and circles.
Loss, peace, chaos.
My only desire is to die but I make it through the grace period.
Graves, carcass, rebirth.
Worm moon
Spring is here.
Sunlight, miniskirts, will to live.
I end things with a homie.
Shedding, avoidant, selfish.
I feel lost and empty,
I let a few weeks pass by and I’m just fine.
Time, it destroys everything.
I burn away her letters and burn my fingers.
Sacrifice, transformation, new beginnings.
Status of the karmic debt: interest has been paid.
I dream of painting the wall.
Bright blue, eggshell, red wine.
Pink moon
A crack in the wall,
Sunlight seeping through the crack.
I end my karmic debt (of the quarter).
Detachment from love and shallowness.
The migratory flock makes it home.
Manifestation, growth, freedom.
I start writing poetry in my notes app.
I also dream about filling the crack.
Hope, romance, carefree.
I spend most of my time with my homies under a pink light studying for finals.
Adulting under the same roof and moonlight.
Power cuts, thukpa, ppts.
I know I’d miss them and feel the urge to stay with them in near future.
I frequently dream about the wall
Hope, faith, and serendipity.
Flower moon
I cemented the wall. (Woohoo)
No more sunlight seeping into the room.
My celestial body embodied the colour orange.
Bubbly, curious, positive.
Smiling throughout the bike ride,
Sun making my hair look brown,
My skin beaming with hopes of a prolonged conversation.
Giddiness, a crush, bracelets.
It’s certainly spring as I’m blooming.
My petals are vibrant and a bee honoured me with its proboscis.
I am starting to wither away, rather quickly.
Strange I think to myself.
No shadow work, flickering my lighter, validation.
My Muladhara is imbalanced,
Unaware, immature, careless.
The roots are weak and the wind blows my petals away.
The bee has no nectar.
The soil- infertile
There’s a drought- in soil, mind and the heart alike.
I discard the plant and sow a different seed,
I feel the soil crumble in my hands but pay no attention.
I get a thought of fixing it, but oh well, there’s another seed ready.
To be continued…